Monday, September 22, 2014

The Prophet’s – peace be upon him – marriage to Aysha – peace be upon her.

While listening to Sheik describe that most of the Prophet’s (PBUH) wives were either divorced or widowed I couldn’t help but wonder why Allah ordained him to marry Ayesha (PBUH) who was young. The culture was accepting of marrying younger women at that time. Also huge age differences were among the norm. In fact the prophet was 52 when he married an 80 year old woman from east Africa Then why Ayesha? Although the sheik didn’t mention it I think that the wisdom behind this probably could have been that she will outlive the prophet and be there to pass on his message directly to a few generations to come. Some might argue why not Fathima (PBUH), his beloved daughter – but who knows a man better than his own wife? Furthermore, Fathima (PBUH) did not share a house with her father. Ayesha was the live in wife who saw him day in and day out. She became the scholar who taught us half the religion we know. While there are many accounts of what her exact age was I think this was part of the reason she was divinely ordered to be married to the prophet. In today’s context does it make it ok? No. Everything that was allowed for the prophet is not allowed for us. For example it is believed that at one time he had 11 wives. Can we do this today? No way. You have to stop at 4. Most men have hard time handling just one and being fair to her… leave alone two or more. Similarly at a time when the average child at that age was more mature than the average child today and in a culture where engagements were done earlier on in life it was ok. Today the situation is more complicated.

Wednesday, June 25, 2014

My Goals for Ramadan Insha Allah

Insha Allah

1. To be the best Version of myself
2. To make dua to perform Haj next year insha Allah
3. To teach some good words
4. To learn at least a few suras with their meanings
5. To make the children memorize the Quran.
6. To pray all sunnah prayers
7. To give charity every single day at least once
8. To listen to atleast one lecture a day.
9. To pray tharawee together as a family
10. To pro long my fard Salah
11. To invite guests over for Iftar


Wednesday, June 18, 2014

How do Muslims prepare for Ramadan?


  1. We prepare for Ramadan by cleaning up the house. 
  2. We make sure we have the resources we need for fasting like dates and other types of food.
  3. We make sure that our prayer mats and prayer clothes and washed and clean.
  4. We start talking to children about the good deeds we are going to perform.
  5. We put aside 2.5% of our savings for Zakat - compulsory charity
  6. We list out charity organizations and needy families that we are going to help.
  7. We plan any iftars that we are organizing. It is a blessing to feed a fasting person when he or she breaks fast so we try to invite friends and relatives over.
  8. We buy our eid gifts and plan the Eid day out
  9. We make lots of dua and ask for forgiveness
Here is a quick video guide. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Se0-Fz2LGk&feature=youtu.be hope it helps insha Allah



Monday, June 9, 2014

Sunday, June 8, 2014

Prayer


The Prophet PBUH said:

When a slave stands and prays, all his sins are brought and placed on his head and shoulders. Every time he bows or prostrates, some of them fall from him.”

(Bayhaqi, Saheeh al-Jami’)

So from now on when you stand up to pray, imagine all your sins being placed on your head and shoulders and when you go on Rukuu and Sujoud, stay longer to lose as many as you can and picture them falling down and away from you. Understand the purpose of praying… this will help you concentrate …..

When you go to the position of Rukuu, feel and tell Allah with your heart that you will never kneel to anyone but him and picture those sins falling down.

And when you say "Sami'Allahu liman hamidah" (Allah hears who thanks Him) and you say  "Rabbana walakal Hamd"  (Thanks to you my Lord) you are thanking Him for honoring you and making you stand straight not like the other creatures who walk on four with their back bent. Thank Him for making you able to move and pray.

When you go to the first Sajdah (you put your head down on the floor) you are representing the earth which you came from and when you get up after the first Sajdah you are representing the first time He created you from the earth.

When you go on the second Sajdah again on the ground, you are representing when you die and you go back to the ground and when you get up the second time you are representing the second time when Allah brings you back from the dead on the Day of Judgment, therefore, concentrate with every movement and feel it.

Make a lot of du'aa in Sujoud and remember du'aa is ibadah and Allah loves those who ask Him…ask Him and beg Him… complain to Him… you are better off complaining to Him than to humans….He will never betray you, He will never let you down, He will never look down on you and He is the only one who can answer your needs with your head held high.
Do you know the reason you say "Allahu Akbar" (Allah is greater) every time you move in a prayer?

It’s a reminder that Allah is greater than anything you might be thinking about from this world. So be honest when you say "Allahu Akbar" and remember He is greater than anything that is occupying your mind while you pray.

Do you know when you stand up to pray and say "Allahu Akbar", Allah stands before you and the minute your mind goes wondering on silly things in this life, Allah turns His face away from you and says (Is there something better than me taking you away from me?)

How lucky are we to have Allah meet us and stand before us 5 times a day, to listen to us and to our problems and to grant us our wishes and forgives us for our sins every day. You say "Allahu Akbar and He is there, you don’t need to stand in front of His door for hours or take an appointment or meet a mediator or a secretary, how generous is He?

Hopefully we will all from today pray differently and enjoy our prayers like never before In shaa Allah. Yaa Allah taqabbal salaatana... Ameen.

Spread to all

Sunday, May 18, 2014

The reward of any of these will outlive you


  • Plant a tree
  • Build a Well
  • Build a Masjid
  • Educate someone or help in education


Three Things that will run out soon

Use your youth, before you get older
Use your health before you get sick

Friday, March 21, 2014

What do Muslims do on Fridays? (Vlog)

Clip Nails

Perform Ghusl

Pray Jummah

Wear clean or new clothes

Read Surathul Kahf

Make dua!

Pray extra

Do not fast


Wednesday, January 29, 2014

I see a man carefully hold the hand of a child as they make their way down the stair case of a bus leading to a road. They walk together towards the school where I just dropped off my son at and complained of the cold as I made my way back to the car. I whisper Ahamdulillah at least I have a car.

Often we forget and we need reminders. Even though I cant imagine life without some of the people or things that matter to me, in it. People around me either sometimes die or end up in very much more difficult situations than what I am faced with. Situations that I cant imagine myself in; yet situations that are a definite possibility.

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

If two physically equal beings come into a relationship contract then it will be fair to ask the to both contribute economically equally to the relationship. In the case of marriage, the beings are not equal. In Islamic marriage the man provides economically and supports the financial burdens of the family. The wife without a valid reason cannot refuse sex to her husband and will take care of his wealth and children. She requires his permission to leave the house

Sunday, June 2, 2013

Ummah

I am writing this in honor of my loving late mother in law who we all affectionately addressed as Ummah  She left us all feeling shocked and empty inside. A sudden and unforeseen departure indeed.

The first thing that filled my heart was regret. Regret for not using all the moments I had with her to tell that I loved her very much. Regret for not using every possible opportunity to go see her. My emotions turned soon from deep sorrow to frustration and anger. I was trying to cling on to something - some reason as to why Allah did not give us a chance to see her alive. Especially with the summer coming and me being just a month away from seeing her. Can I blame my work place for not granting me leave when I asked to go visit her back in December? Can I blame myself for thinking that she will be fine until the summer? Could some one have advised me differently? The questions will never be answered.

I only have the comfort of knowing that Insha Allah there is a possibility that I will see her again in jannah. This is how Allah wanted it. This is what life is. Every moment that you have with your loved ones is too precious to waste. So put the TV off, turn off your computers and give your loved ones your undivided attention and time before it is too late.

Everyone who knew her, knew how generous she was. Let me not take away her hasanaath by going into details of what she did but all I can say is that I was blessed to be a part of her life. She is the woman who raised the man I love and her presence will be felt in my life every day.

All those of us living abroad without our families know how hard life is without the warmth of grandparents and the chatter of extended family. We know how hard it is to even have an after noon nap because no one is watching the kids. We yearn for our loved ones, our parents and we value them sometimes much more than those who live closer to them. As many of us living abroad already know, we live with the constant fear of bad news over the phone; the inevitable misery of knowing that there is very high possibility of not seeing most of our older relatives alive ever again. Yet when it really happens we still struggle to come to terms with it. We fight inside us to hang on to every little bit of faith and promise ourselves that the way God intended it to be is the best way. My request to those of you who share your kind advice during our loss is to please try to be sensitive to our feelings and not make us feel bad about what we could not do. Please respect the fact that we are also limited by our resources and capabilities. If we can be there for the ones we love I don't think we would think twice about it, but for some reason, this is how Allah wanted it so we leave it at that and Allah knows best.

I miss her tremendously but I am strong enough to forgive myself and to move on. Please make dua for her and us. It is the best gift indeed.

Until we meet again...

Saturday, April 6, 2013

Congratulations Lankans

I commend my fellow Sri Lankan Muslims for their patients extra ordinary during the trials and tribulations currently going on. Our duas are with you! Please be the better ones and  do not counter attach their businesses and their people. We are trying hard to make a comfortable living. Do not destroy anyone's hope for a better future.

I thank my fellow citizens and those Sinhala Budhist specially, for apposing and challenging this movement against the innocent Muslims who have done nothing to earn their anger.

Kindly give positive publicity to the matter and create awareness. Do not share any post that disrespect any religion.... Our country is so small with so much variety that gives it its true beauty. Do not let that get ruined.

With my all love to all of humanity!

http://www.colombotelegraph.com/index.php/fashion-bug-attack-a-nation-on-the-edge-it-is-a-moment-of-truth/please read the article here

Saturday, March 30, 2013

Please remember Sri Lankan Muslims in your prayers

I spent most of my childhood in a lovely neighborhood that consisted of people from many different races and religions. I learned more Sinhalese from my friends than from school. When we played cricket together, climbed trees and rode our bikes we had the time of our lives. It may be almost 20 years ago, but the memories remain fresh in my mind. When we did performances at school we dressed up in the traditional clothing of every different race, held hand and sung songs.... today, because of a few people spreading hatred and creating chaos we feel alienated in our own motherland.

My question is - what did we do?
Did we form terrorist organizations to threaten you?
Did we ask for a share of the land?
Did we mock you?
Did we burn down your businesses?

Weren't we also affected by the civil war?
Aren't we contributing to the economy of the country positively?
Aren't we going about our normal daily lives just like you are?
Then why do you hate us?
What did we ever do?

Sunday, February 17, 2013

Wrote up this Nasheed in the middle of my work

Oh Allah

Let me have more happy days than sad ones
Let me have more good days than bad ones
Let me row this boat to heaven
and let me not die in a state of doubt

Show me the straight path....
Every time I make a mistake
help me pickup myself and start again
forgive me and prevent me from doing
what you do not like

show me a world filled with peace
make me thankful for every little bit
for I am human and I may forget
so keep me strong and keep me fit
both in my body and in my soul
both in my heart and in mind

Oh Allah
Allah, you are the greatest
you are the greatest



Tuesday, May 15, 2012

My Response to a another sister who feels she is beyond Islam!

Bismillah

Alhamdulillah. It is natural to question the existence of life. To search for something to cling on to. To pursue our natural state of Fitra. No matter what religion or school of thought, you are born into, you are bound to question life.

A manufacturer would not make as much as even a toy robot without a Manual. The Quran is our User-manual to life and in it we find answers to all these questions, which is why we must make an effort to learn the tafseer of the Quran. http://bayyinah.com/podcast/)

To you, one thing may be right and to me another. Where is the uniformity of Justice when each of us take into our own hands, the classification of right and wrong? Who has the right to define right and wrong? 

It may be 2012 but humankind, is still humankind. An animal will await the sense of smell, sight and touch to exit a building on fire. But a human will do so with just a mere warning. We have a choice to either wait until we see it or to believe it and take charge of our lives right now. So you are free to choose what you like. And like every decision in life, our choices will have their consequences.

We don't take Islam upon us because there is comfort in doing so, we take to it because we are convinced that it is the truth. We love and worship Allah because He is deserving of it. May Allah guide us all in the right path!

Not blind or bound but crystal clear, free and at peace!

Salaams

Friday, May 4, 2012

These children need our help. Please read their journal here:

http://www.helpourgirls.com/

Also you can listen to their story here:

http://olrserenity.podbean.com/2012/05/03/drowning-in-gratitude/

Monday, November 14, 2011

As received - Please help and make dua!

I am here once again knocking on your hearts who is presently undergoing a severe trial from our Lord. My very young son who was initially diagnosed as to having vascular disease but is yet to be confirmed through a CT-Scan test and thereafter undergo medical treatment becoz doctor told us that it might be also a cancer. The disease has grown bigger and started to spread in various parts of my baby 'Abdullaah's body. If it is proven vascular disease, it has to be removed as early as possible because the disease will spread througout the inner and outer especially in the ribs. We are not financially able to sustain the medical expenses, we are in serious need of every help we can get. Hope inshaa'Allaah you could dig deep into your pockets so you can help our family out, may Allaah have mercy on you. Attached is the CT-Scan request and a laboratory request. We will be also needing financial for the baby's operation (i.e.medicines,hospital bills,etc.).

 "The believer's shade on the Day of Resurrection will be his charity." - Al-Tirmidhi, Hadith 604. 


BarakAllaahu feekum.

Wassalaamu 'alaykum,
Fatima Baig

Friday, November 11, 2011

To work or not to work

This one is for us ladies who can't help feeling guilty about working.

Like everything else, women working outside the house does come with a price especially if she has children who are still dependent on her for their well being. Lets face it - there is no one better to take care of our children than ourselves. Her family deserves the best of her and to a woman her family always comes first.

While Islam completely puts the financial burden on the husband, it is ok for the wife to work in a safe environment to support him if the family is in need of it. This should be voluntary on her. However, mingling with the opposite gender is strongly discouraged. An interesting point to be noted is that while the family (wife, parents and children) has a right over the earnings of a man, a woman's earnings are completely for herself. If she has the minimum requirement of savings for a year, then she needs to pay Zakat on that just like if she owned any gold. Alhamdulillah!

Some good careers for our girls to get into are education and the medical professionals such as doctors and nurses. Teaching and medicine are encouraged professions because the society needs more female workers in this area.

So if you are in deed a working mum stop being hard on yourself and start making dua for Allah to ease your burden on you! Insha Allah if your intentions are pure He will give you what's best for you!

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Ramadan Mubarak

As this month of holiness aproaches us I would like to share a few ideas that may probably help you create a little difference each day.

  1. Make a list of Duas that you want to ask.
  2. If you have phone calls to make or other matters to follow up on, try to do them before the month starts
  3. Groceries and even Eid clothes for the family should be ready before the month starts in order to prevent waste of time.
  4. use your freezer. Stock up on groceries and easy to prepare foods that save time and effort.
  5. Try to read Quran with understanding even if it be a little each day.
  6. Set goals for yourself and plans on how you will achieve them. For example you can say that you will make time for Sura mulk on Sundays, Sura kahf on Fridays and Sura yaseen on thursdays. Try to read the meanings of these suras before the month approaches
  7. Make iftar a special time for family and dua. Encourage everyone to be there even if they are not fasting.
  8. Make zikr all the time. Even when washing dishes or sweeping the floor
  9. Prolong your sajda – make as much dua as possible during Sajda
  10. Do as many sunnah prayers as possible.
  11. Give Charity

Friday, July 22, 2011

Monday, July 11, 2011

In preparation of Ramadan


Back in the days I remember all the fuss and fun about Ramadan. Picturing the samosas with ketchup and yummy food on the table all day long. How I miss the warmth of the extended family and relatives coming in, sharing food, talking, praying together and reading Quran. The invitations for iftars and ramadan shopping, house cleaning and preparation for worship. The hustle and bustle in the Masjids and Bazars. The patient seeking of reward. The yearning to please the lord of the worlds!

During Ramadan there is a special feeling that we sense. Everyone talks about the giving and the sharing and the extra prayers and the recitation of the Quran. But what I am talking about is that sense deep within your soul. Ramadan gives you a chance to connect with yourself; to test your limits and to be patient. Self control and worship takes an upper hand during this month. Our physical needs and materialistic motives are put to rest. Our true purpose of life is what we want to fulfill so every extra time that we have, we spend in prayer and worship.

This is the first time that we will be spending Ramadan just as a family of four. I miss having family with me. I miss the food, conversation and Ibada. I want to make this one of the best Ramadans I have had. I want to live through it with smiles and constant remembrance of the creator and our true purpose here. Insha Allah

In order to make the most of these 30 days lets try to finish our preramadan shopping as early as possible. Lets try not to watse too much time preparing foods. Frozen foods and plenty of snacks should be convenient and time saving. Lets switch off the TV, close out the silly novels and magazines and open up the books of true knowledge. Lets fill our ears with the Quran and Tafsir... Lets keep our tongues busy with the zikr. Lets teach our children the beauty and practicality of Islam and lets change our hearts to be better people!

Oh Allah answer my prayers during this month
Oh my lord make it easy for me to give
Lengthen my life and bless it
Protect and guide me, my family, my children and my friends
Make our deaths easier on us and Give us the light in our graves
Helps us to worship you in the best possible manner
Bless us with Jannathul Firdouse


Ameen

Saturday, June 25, 2011

We don't have time for chit chat...

"Dude, what's with the beard?"


"You have such a beautiful body, why don't you show it off?"

You look much prettier without your hijab, can't you not wear it just for one day?”

No, this is not another Hijab post. We have enough of those, dont we? The statements above are some of the questions that those of us living in non muslim communties constantly have to hear. Many a times our confused friends, work colleagues and fellow members of the society try to question our faith, beliefs and action in hope not to get clarification but to cause confusion amongst us.

Alhamdulillah, most of us have had our share of sitting up through the nights trying to figure out what life is all about and many of us Alhamdulillah again have been made intelligent enough to believe in the unseen, to submit to the will of God and to dedicate our actions and life to the Almighty alone. We have gone through the phase of accepting Islam by choice and not just because we were born into it.

To all of those who aim to question our beliefs, first of all ask yourself what is your true purpose of this question. Are you a truth seeker hoping for guidance? Are you truly trying to find answers to things that trouble you or are you finding a vulnerable person that you can attack and make your ego look greater? Those of you who post nasty comments at the bottom of youtube videos and have an intention of just causing an uproar, driving the conversation in any direction you please, read no further. This post is not for you. Let us pray that you find guidance in some place where there will be no public pressure and ego in the way of your learning.

For everyone else who is a true seeker of the truth, congratulations... not everyone has the intellectual capabilities of going through what you are, right now.

Firstly we choose to submit our will to our creator – the one God: That means we have the strongest belief that what the almighty ordains for us to do or not do is always for the best. So we dont need some rational explanation as to why we save ourselves only for our husbands or why we are not permitted to eat certain kinds of foods. Three words - 'Allah knows best' - sets us at peace. While you are a slave to money or your boss at work, we are slaves only to Allah

Second: God did not just create us. He revealed a book by which we should live – The Quran. You dont just manufacture a product and put it out in the market without a user manual, do you? The Quran is the book by which we live – our user manual to life! The prophet is our role model, the human example that we follow. Everything he did, said or silently approved of makes the Sunnah or Hadith.

Hopefully by now you get not only foundation of what we chose to believe and why but also how it is so easy for us to do that.

Now for the simple logic..

If I may put it as such, there is a law – the bottom line by which we live:

“Everything that is not explicitly stated as haram (forbidden) in our day to day life becomes halal (permissible)”

Everything that is not explicitly stated as halal when it comes to our religious rituals is haram”

For example we can not change anything with regards to prayer, zakah, fasting and haj. I cannot pray six times a day instead of five. However when it comes to other matters we can take from our culture that which does not get in the way of our religious teachings. For example: weddings. 

So its as simple as that. No worries. No late nights thinking what must be and how large the universe is; rather we are busy in the worship of our God because that really is the reason we are here.

In the belief in God comes peace. In leaving everything to his Wisdom alone, comes serenity.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Every child's wish!

'Mommy and daddy "you" are the best gift you can give me!'

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Abu Hurayrah (ra) relates that ALLAH's Messenger (saw) said: "Indeed, before ALLAH created the creation, He decreed for Himself, 'Indeed My Mercy prevails over My Wrath (Anger).” [Sahih Bukhari and Sahih Muslim]

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Relationships need work!

"A good marriage is when two people get together to make each other happy" Yasir Fazaga

A good listen http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DSEsUZIT6d8&feature=autoplay&list=PL5ACA648378CFFA0F&index=4&playnext=2

by Nouman Ali Khan

Monday, May 3, 2010

Special times for acceptance of Dua

1. Prayer in between Addhan & Ikaamah.
2. After the fard salah
3. After sajdah in salah.
4. While drinking zamzam water
5. In a gathering where dhikr is made or Quran is taught
6. During the last hours of the night, (Tahajjud)
7. At the time of sehri (Pre-dawn meal taken for fasting.)
8. At the time of breaking our fast
9. Every Friday & Saturday between Asar & Magrib.
10. During rainfall
11. When the rooster calls
12. While saying Ameen after the Sura Fatiha during Salaat.
13. On the night of Qadr during Ramadan.
14. On the first ten days during the month of Zilhajj.

( Taken from a book named Supplication. )

Thursday, April 15, 2010

for the ladies

Did you know that it is medical proven fact that nursing your new born can be a natural birth control mechanism for you for two years? This does not mean that you have a zero chance of getting pregnant but rather that your chances of getting pregant are greatly reduced.

http://mumlovesme.com/

Monday, March 8, 2010

Islam and terrorism

Here is an article I wrote a long time ago: http://aashika.blogspot.com/2005/04/islam-and-terrorism.html

A Poem on the Prophet - May peace be upon him!

I wrote this in a rush. The message is more important than the words.

read here

Friday, February 26, 2010

You and I

You are miserable when you think of the meaning of life
I am crystal clear as to why I'm here

To conceal your sorrow, you dance the night away in clubs
I sleep in comfort with serene dreams in the warmth of my bed

You smoke to hide away your misery
I pray to get things straight

You in the name of fun do as you wish
In the hope to heal the world I do what's right

You drink crushing your soul and killing your friends
I touch not anything with alcohol because God say's don't and He knows best

You think you are smart enough to write your own fate
I don't let my instincts decide what's right for me because I'm not stupid

You use drugs as an escape from reality
I live in belief that brings peace to the mind

You are nothing but a lost dark soul that needs some light
I am just a friend trying to reach out to help

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Valentines Day- The Islamic Perspective

Praise be to Allaah.

Firstly: This festival became connected with the sa in t known as Valent in e who was sentenced to death on 14 February 270 CE. The kuffaar still celebrate this festival, dur in g which immorality and evil are practised widely.

Secondly: It is not permissible for a Muslim to celebrate any of the festivals of the kuffaar, because festivals come under the head in g of shar’i issues which are to be based on the sound texts. Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: Festivals are part of sharee’ah, clear way and rituals of which Allaah says ( in terpretation of the mean in g):

“To each among you, We have prescribed a law and a clear way” [al-Maa’idah 5:48]

“For every nation We have orda in ed religious ceremonies which they must follow” [al-Hajj 22:67]

Jo in in g in fully with the festival is jo in in g in with kufr, and jo in in g in with some of its m in or issues is jo in in g in with some of the branches of kufr. Indeed, festivals are one of the most unique features that dist in guish various religions and among their most prom in ent symbols, so jo in in g in with them is jo in in g in with the most characteristic and prom in ent symbols of kufr. No doubt jo in in g in with this may lead to complete kufr.

He also said (may Allaah have mercy on him): It is not permissible for the Muslims to imitate them in anyth in g that is uniquely a part of their festivals, whether it be food, cloth in g, bath in g, light in g fires, refra in in g from a regular habit, do in g acts of worship or anyth in g else. It is not permissible to give a feast or to give gifts, or to sell anyth in g that will help them to do that for that purpose, or to allow children and others to play games that are part of the festivals, or to wear one’s adornments.

To conclude: the Mulsims should not do any of their rituals at the time of their festivals; rather the day of their festival should be like any other day for the Muslims. The Muslims should not do anyth in g specific in imitation of them. End quote from Majmoo al-Fataawa (25/329).

Al-Haafiz al-Dhahabi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: If the Christians have a festival, and the Jews have a festival, it is only for them, so no Muslim should jo in them in that,just as no Muslim should jo in them in their religion or their direction of prayer. End quote from Tashabbuh al-Khasees bi Ahl al-Khamees, published in Majallat al-Hikmah (4/193)

Festivals are among the characteristics by which nations are dist in guished, and it is not permissible to celebrate the festivals of the ignorant and the mushrikeen (polytheists).

The scholars have issued fatwas stat in g that it is haraam to celebrate Valent in e’s Day.

1 –Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) was asked:

Celebrat in g Valent in e’s Day is not permissible for a number of reasons.

It is an in novated festival for which there is no basis in Islam, it promotes love and in fatuation, it calls for hearts to be preoccupied with foolish matters that are contrary to the way of the righteous salaf (may Allaah be pleased with them).

It is not permissible on this day to do any of the th in gs that are characteristic of this festival, whether that has to do with food, dr in ks, cloth in g, exchang in g gifts or anyth in g else.

The Muslim should be proud of his religion and should not be a weak character. I ask Allaah to protect the Muslims from all temptations, visible and in visible, and to protect us and guide us. End quote from Majmoo’ Fataawa al-Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (16/199)

2 – The Stand in g Committee was asked about celebration of Valent in e’s Day on the fourteenth of February every year.

The clear evidence of the Qur’aan and Sunnah – and the consensus of the early generations of this ummah – in dicates that there are only two festivals in Islam: Eid al-Fitr and Eid al-Adha. Any other festivals that have to do with a person, a group, an event or anyth in g else are in novated festivals, which it is not permissible for Muslims to observe, approve of or express joy on those occasions, or to help others to celebrate them in any way, because that is transgress in g the sacred limits of Allaah, and whoever transgresses the sacred limits of Allaah has wronged himself. If the fabricated festival is also a festival of the kuffaar, then the s in is even greater, because this is imitat in g them and it is a k in d of tak in g them as close friends, and Allaah has forbidden the believers to imitate them and take them as close friends in His Holy Book. And it is proven that the Prophet (peace and bless in gs of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever imitates a people is one of them.” Valent in e’s Day comes under this head in g because it is an idolatrous Christian festival, so it is not permissible for a Muslim who believes in Allaah and the Last Day to observe it or approve of it or congratulate people on it. Rather he has to ignore it and avoid it, in obedience to Allaah and His Messenger, and so as to keep away from the causes that in cur the wrath and punishment of Allaah. It is also haraam for the Muslim to help people to celebrate this or any other haraam festival by supply in g any k in d of food or dr in k, or buy in g or sell in g or manufactur in g or giv in g or advertis in g etc., because all of that is cooperat in g in s in and transgression and is disobedience towards Allaah and His Messenger (peace and bless in gs of Allaah be upon him). Allaah says ( in terpretation of the mean in g):

“Help you one another in Al‑Birr and At‑Taqwa (virtue, righteousness and piety); but do not help one another in s in and transgression. And fear Allaah. Verily, Allaah is Severe in punishment” [al-Maa’idah 5:2]

The Muslim must adhere to the Book of Allaah and the Sunnah in all his affairs, especially at times of fitnah when evil is widespread. He should be smart and avoid fall in g in to the misguidance of those who have earned Allaah’s anger and who have gone astray, and the evildoers who have no fear of Allaah and who do not have any pride in be in g Muslims. The Muslim must turn to Allaah and seek His guidance and rema in steadfast in follow in g it, for there is no Guide except Allaah and no one can make a person steadfast but Him. And Allaah is the source of strength. May Allaah send bless in gs and peace upon our Prophet Muhammad and his family and companions. End quote.

And Allaah knows best.

Source: www.islamqa.com

Also see:

http://www.readingislam.com/servlet/Satellite?c=Article_C&cid=1265700459149&pagename=Zone-English-Discover_Islam/DIELayout

Friday, January 29, 2010

Influencing the Behaviour of Muslim Youth and Their Parents by Shahid Athar , M. D.



The purpose of this article is to evaluate the factors influencing the behavior of children and how to modify them so that they grow as model citizens practicing Islam in their community, become a source of joy and comfort to their parents, and maintain family harmony.
The behavior of growing children is influenced by many factors that include their parents and other close relatives, teachers, peers at school, community and the media. Lack of discipline and civilized behavior at school is a major problem in the U.S., the fallout of which is also seen at home! With broken families and the absence of a father at home, this becomes a major problem for single mothers raising a teenager.
Muslim children, although distinct in their value system, still are exposed to and affected by what they see and learn. In Islamic teachings, great emphasis has been placed on moral conduct and behavior.
The Quran says, "Lo, the noblest of you, in the sight of God, is (the one) best in conduct. Lo, God is knower, Aware" (49:13).
"By the soul, and the proportion and order given to it, and its enlightenment as to its wrong, and its right. Truly he succeeds that purifies it (the soul), and he fails that corrupts it" (91:7-10).
Prophet Muhammad (PBUH), has said, "I have been sent to perfect your conduct" (Bukhari and Muslim). "A fathers' teaching his child good manners is better than giving a bushel of grain (in charity)" (Bukhari).
Children are very susceptible to any and every influence. It has been said, "They are like molten cement. Anything that falls on them makes a lasting impression." Their minds are like virgin soil, ready to accept any seed. As they grow, their organs of reception start working and accept new ideas and influences. It is up to us to screen the experiential factors that influence a child's development so that they can learn to accept the right ideas and behaviors and reject the wrong influences.
The parents (and close relatives living with them like uncles and grandparents) have only 25% influence in a 6-16 year old child. 50% is by peers at school or in the community. 25% is from the teachers and other sources of education outside home i.e. media, mainly TV (and magazines for older youths). The influence of parents is high during early age (0-8 years, up to 80%), but as the child discovers new friends and ideas, he or she grows independent from the influence of parents.

The American scene
The American scene of the behavior of children and adults is changing. While it is difficult to qualify the behavior at home, the same at school has been published. What is happening in our homes is reflective of what's happening outside homes and vice versa According to a study conducted by Fullerton California Police Department of Education,l the leading school discipline problem in 1940 was talking, chewing gum, making noise, running in the hallways, getting out of place in line, wearing improper clothing and not putting paper in the wastebasket, etc. In 1980 the major problems were drug abuse, alcohol abuse, pregnancy, suicide, rape, robbery, assault, burglary, arson, and bombing. The Indianapolis public schools conducted a behavior discipline survey.2 It reported the following activities in the hall: Grabbing 69%, pushing 84%, hitting 82%, kicking 48%, slapping 57%, pinching 66%, fighting 78% and tripping 62%. There is also a high percentage of physical violence by teacher against student (22%) and by student against teacher (42%). We leave our children at school in such an environment for 30-40 hours per week and then expect them to develop into angels.
While the parents can do little to affect other influences, some suggestions can be made in this regard.
PEERS
Keep children in the company of good Muslim children after school and during weekends to dilute the unavoidable influence of undesirable elements at school.
SCHOOL
Choose a school in a good location (neighborhood) irrespective of it being private or public. Get to know the teachers personally and interact with them. Only the neglected children create wrong impression at school and expose themselves to various abuses. Supervise their homework.
MEDIA
Watch TV with your children, and select good educational and entertainment programs. Comment on the negative aspects of the program. Cut down the TV hour to less than 1 1/2 hours on weekdays and 2 1/2 hours on weekends. Do not buy rock music tapes (out of love for your child) nor allow him/her to listen to any hard rock. Encourage outdoor activity in preference to indoor (e.g. TV/music). Encourage them to read newspapers, good magazines (National Geographic) and Islamic periodicals.

Role of parents in influencing the behaviour of their children
As I have said many times, "Children will become what we want them to be if we are what we want them to be." Children cannot be expected to practice Islam by sending them to Sunday school if we are not doing that ourselves in our day to day life. If we want them to get up early in the morning to perform the prescribed prayer, we have to do it ourselves and ask them to join us. If we want them to read the Quran, we should read with them and so on.
LOVE
Growing children may not take an order, but will do things out of love and respect for their parents. So love and respect on a mutual basis is our best weapon against all the negative influences on them. Parental love should be unconditional and on biological grounds rather than on their achievements at school or in sports. Love should not be confused with unlimited permissiveness or with closed eyes towards a child's faults. Criticizing certain faults of the child should not diminish the love by the parents.
INFORMATION
Children are not bom knowing everything right or wrong in social norms. They need clear guidelines about good and bad behavior, Islamic and un-Islamic way of life. The greatest effect is of the parent's attitude and example rather than the words in a book. If children see their parents not practicing what they themselves are told to practice they become rebellious and non-believers (in the value system). A typical example is of alcoholism in the American scene. Children are told it is bad for you until you are 18, while it is not bad for the parents. Therefore children seeing this as hypocrisy, rebel and get alcohol, not from a liquor store, but from their own home or from a friend at parties. Therefore, parents should set the same standards for themselves as they set for their children, and share with them information of all kinds whether related to the outside world or inside the family. It is not the knowledge which hurts, but the lack of it or misuse of it which causes problems.
DECISIONS
Parents should help children make appropriate decisions and be responsible for their decisions. Younger children can only make decisions about the present (i.e. what clothes to wear that day), but grown-ups can make decisions that may affect their future, under parental guidance (i.e. selection of career, school and hobbies). Children left to grow on their own, will regret a lack of direction they had in their childhood. Children should be taught how to be responsible by being given the chance to share household work, keep their desk and room clean and how to handle their "own" money. Let them spend all their money and suffer from the lack of it. A sense of deprivation once in awhile is good for them as long as the reason for deprivation is explained well.

Problems with parents




  • If the parents are authoritarian, the child becomes fearful of making mistakes, starts lying for the fear of being punished and feels insecure. Unfortunately, abused children become abusers when they grow up. The parent should remember that the only absolute authority in the house is the Will of God, and everyone has to submit to His Will, in order to expect submission from a younger person.





  • If the parents are emotionally disturbed and depressed themselves they will not have time for the children, leading them to withdraw, become depressed or develop anti-social activities.





  • If the parents are perfectionists and expect the child to be perfect all the time, the child will have two options. Either he or she will live up to the expectations, or will develop opposite tendencies, i.e. a teenager keeping his or her room messy to get back at the "ever cleaning" mom. Parents should not make "all" the choices for their children, but help in their individual growth.





  • The over-protective, anxious parent cannot raise a confident child ready to deal with the real life. This child will feel danger everywhere. While the child has to be supervised, he or she does not need the physical presence of the parent at all time. They should raise a strong child, strong enough to carry on their work if they meet a sudden death themselves.




  • The parent who cannot say no to a child, spoils him or her by providing him or her with every wish every time. This child will demand whatever he or she wants immediately and put on a manipulative show to get it. One parent complained how their five year old will stop breathing until she got what she wanted. The parents have to learn to control their love and discipline themselves in order to discipline their children The child's necessary desires should be met according to the means of the family, but a time may come when a firm no should be put into practice.




  • Parents who take sides in sibling rivalry encourage jealousy and hate. They should not prefer boys over girls or the reverse and fair complexion over dark ones, bright ones over less bright, but try to be fair to all of them and neutral in their fights.




  • How parents can communicate with their children
    Neither party can influence the other unless they communicate. This is a serious problem in American families. One father told me that at best all his teenage daughter would say to him would be "Hi" one or two times a day. This can be substituted by a "peace be upon you," (as-salam alaykum) in a Muslim family in which parents and teenagers are not getting along well. One should avoid getting into this stage of strained communication.




  • Find a time and place to talk to your children. Children are sometimes in a "bad mood" upon returning from school, loaded with home work, as are parents in the afternoon with a busy day at work. The best time to have a chat is during breakfast and evening dinner together. Better than this is allotting ten minutes after either the evening or night prescribed prayer or even better, after the dawn prescribed prayer, if time pemits. During this session, the parent can inform the children of all the good things they did that day and ask the children the same and share their problems.




  • When you do argue, do it patiently, one person speaking at a time. Be specific and separate emotions from facts. Speak in a low voice. Screaming decreases the intake of the message. Finding fault may make you look like a winner, but remember, just as we want God to forget and forgive our faults, we should do the same for others.




  • Practice active listening to each other's view, even if you don't agree. For religious issues consult the Quran or the Traditions together, rather than quoting from your memory.





  • Refrain from sarcasm, name calling, humiliation, pointing your finger, etc. Read God's injunction about these again and again in Surah Al-Hujurat (49th Surah).





  • Encourage each other even in areas of shortcomings, rather than making fun or making a negative remark. If your child brings a B report, then instead of, "I doubt you will ever improve or pass your exam," say "A 'B' is better than a 'C', and I am sure you are talented enough to do better. Perhaps I can help you in the areas that you have difficulties at school?"




  • Influencing the behaviour through daily household chores
    The purpose of giving them some chores, is to keep them busy as well as teach them some responsibility. Initially it may be boring, but it will eventually become routine. The assignment should be according to age (and not the sex of the child) and should include setting the table to begin with, then washing dishes, laundry, taking out the garbage or just helping in the garden. However, children should not be forced into doing things, otherwise they will rebel. By the same token, they should not be penalized for mistakes. The best payment for a job is a smile, hug, thank you or praising the child to others, rather than money. While it may be all right to give an allowance, it should not be tied to the job. Otherwise the child will want money for everything. An eleven year old told his mom, "You need to know only three things about kids. Don't hit them too much, don't yell at them too much, and don't do too much for them."

    How about infants and pre-schoolers?
    While studies mainly refer to children ages 6-16 years, the small ones should not be neglected. In fact, in the first year of life, it is the behavior of the parent (especially the mother) which is so crucial and has nearly 90 percent influence. Then, as the child grows, identification with the parent of the same sex may make the influence of that parent more important. The boys watch their father more closely doing mechanical work and girls observe moms carefully doing household work. Sometimes it may be reversed. It is at this time that parents can inject love and respect into children by their example of mutual love and respect for each other and for the children. It is also at this age that doing things together including playing, watching TV, reading, etc. will help establish the foundations (trust, self-confidence, ability, etc.) of open communication. In terms of practice of religion, it comes from observing their parents and doing the practices together. If nice manners are programmed into them before they are introduced to the general population, it is doubtful they would get the infection of misbehavior.

    Bill of rights for Muslim children




  • Muslim children have the right to learn and practice Islam even if one of their parents is a non-Muslim, or non-practicing Muslim.





  • They have a right to be treated as a person, in an environment that is conducive to their growth and maturity and to become useful citizens.





  • They have a right to receive love, care, discipline, and protection from their parents.




  • They have a right to receive education, and financial protection for the future.




  • Bill of rights for Muslim parents




  • Parents have a right to receive love, respect and affection from their children as mentioned in the Quran.




  • Parents have a right to educate and discipline their children as men- tioned in the Quran and shown by the example of Prophet Muhammad [PBUH]




  • Parents have a right to know more about their children, and moni- tor other influences affecting them.




  • Parents have a right to say no to unusual financial and other demands of children.




  • Finally, I end this article with a verse from the Quran.
    "Your Lord has commanded that you worship none but Him, and that you be kind to your parents. If either or both of them reach old age with you, do not say to them any word of contempt, nor repulse them, but address them in terms of honor, and out of kindness lower to them your wings of submission, and say, 'My Lord, have mercy on them as they cared for me in my childhood"' (17:23-24).

    source:http://www.themodernreligion.com/family/family_muslimamericans.htm