As received - Please help and make dua!

I am here once again knocking on your hearts who is presently undergoing a severe trial from our Lord. My very young son who was initially diagnosed as to having vascular disease but is yet to be confirmed through a CT-Scan test and thereafter undergo medical treatment becoz doctor told us that it might be also a cancer. The disease has grown bigger and started to spread in various parts of my baby 'Abdullaah's body. If it is proven vascular disease, it has to be removed as early as possible because the disease will spread througout the inner and outer especially in the ribs. We are not financially able to sustain the medical expenses, we are in serious need of every help we can get. Hope inshaa'Allaah you could dig deep into your pockets so you can help our family out, may Allaah have mercy on you. Attached is the CT-Scan request and a laboratory request. We will be also needing financial for the baby's operation (i.e.medicines,hospital bills,etc.).

 "The believer's shade on the Day of Resurrection will be his charity." - Al-Tirmidhi, Hadith 604. 

BarakAllaahu feekum.

Wassalaamu 'alaykum,

Fatima Baig

To work or not to work

This one is for us ladies who can't help feeling guilty about working.

Like everything else, women working outside the house does come with a price especially if she has children who are still dependent on her for their well being. Lets face it - there is no one better to take care of our children than ourselves. Her family deserves the best of her and to a woman her family always comes first.

While Islam completely puts the financial burden on the husband, it is ok for the wife to work in a safe environment to support him if the family is in need of it. This should be voluntary on her. However, mingling with the opposite gender is strongly discouraged. An interesting point to be noted is that while the family (wife, parents and children) has a right over the earnings of a man, a woman's earnings are completely for herself. If she has the minimum requirement of savings for a year, then she needs to pay Zakat on that just like if she owned any gold. Alhamdulillah!

Some good careers for our girls to get into are education and the medical professionals such as doctors and nurses. Teaching and medicine are encouraged professions because the society needs more female workers in this area.

So if you are in deed a working mum stop being hard on yourself and start making dua for Allah to ease your burden on you! Insha Allah if your intentions are pure He will give you what's best for you!

Are you forced to nurse your baby in public?

Here is a simple worry free solution: http://www.ebay.com/itm/190580167475?ssPageName=STRK%3AMESELX%3AIT&_trksid=p3984.m1555.l2649#ht_500wt_1413

Help be part of the solution for the hunger crisis in East Africa

Support the move: http://almaghrib.org/livenow

Thafsir of Sura Yasin

http://juliherman.wordpress.com/2011/08/01/tafseer-surah-yaseen-day-1/

The Fiqh of Marriage and Divorce

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HWiGdM7NHRc

Shaikh Yasir Qadhi

Get closer to the Quran in the month that it was revealed!

Podcast

Ramadan Mubarak

As this month of holiness aproaches us I would like to share a few ideas that may probably help you create a little difference each day.

1. Make a list of Duas that you want to ask.
2. If you have phone calls to make or other matters to follow up on, try to do them before the month starts
3. Groceries and even Eid clothes for the family should be ready before the month starts in order to prevent waste of time.
4. use your freezer. Stock up on groceries and easy to prepare foods that save time and effort.
5. Try to read Quran with understanding even if it be a little each day.
6. Set goals for yourself and plans on how you will achieve them. For example you can say that you will make time for Sura mulk on Sundays, Sura kahf on Fridays and Sura yaseen on thursdays. Try to read the meanings of these suras before the month approaches
7. Make iftar a special time for family and dua. Encourage everyone to be there even if they are not fasting.
8. Make zikr all the time. Even when washing dishes or sweeping the floor
9. Prolong your sajda – make as much dua as possible during Sajda
10. Do as many sunnah prayers as possible.
11. Give Charity

ICNA Captured (May 2011)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iQexG_CsKo4&feature=related

We don't want to debate. We want to invite!

In preparation of Ramadan

Back in the days I remember all the fuss and fun about Ramadan. Picturing the samosas with ketchup and yummy food on the table all day long. How I miss the warmth of the extended family and relatives coming in, sharing food, talking, praying together and reading Quran. The invitations for iftars and ramadan shopping, house cleaning and preparation for worship. The hustle and bustle in the Masjids and Bazars. The patient seeking of reward. The yearning to please the lord of the worlds!

During Ramadan there is a special feeling that we sense. Everyone talks about the giving and the sharing and the extra prayers and the recitation of the Quran. But what I am talking about is that sense deep within your soul. Ramadan gives you a chance to connect with yourself; to test your limits and to be patient. Self control and worship takes an upper hand during this month. Our physical needs and materialistic motives are put to rest. Our true purpose of life is what we want to fulfill so every extra time that we have, we spend in prayer and worship.

This is the first time that we will be spending Ramadan just as a family of four. I miss having family with me. I miss the food, conversation and Ibada. I want to make this one of the best Ramadans I have had. I want to live through it with smiles and constant remembrance of the creator and our true purpose here. Insha Allah

In order to make the most of these 30 days lets try to finish our preramadan shopping as early as possible. Lets try not to watse too much time preparing foods. Frozen foods and plenty of snacks should be convenient and time saving. Lets switch off the TV, close out the silly novels and magazines and open up the books of true knowledge. Lets fill our ears with the Quran and Tafsir... Lets keep our tongues busy with the zikr. Lets teach our children the beauty and practicality of Islam and lets change our hearts to be better people!

Oh Allah answer my prayers during this month

Oh my lord make it easy for me to give

Lengthen my life and bless it

Protect and guide me, my family, my children and my friends

Make our deaths easier on us and Give us the light in our graves

Helps us to worship you in the best possible manner

Bless us with Jannathul Firdouse


Ameen

We don't have time for chit chat...

"Dude, what's with the beard?"


"You have such a beautiful body, why don't you show it off?"

“You look much prettier without your hijab, can't you not wear it just for one day?”

No, this is not another Hijab post. We have enough of those, dont we? The statements above are some of the questions that those of us living in non muslim communties constantly have to hear. Many a times our confused friends, work colleagues and fellow members of the society try to question our faith, beliefs and action in hope not to get clarification but to cause confusion amongst us.

Alhamdulillah, most of us have had our share of sitting up through the nights trying to figure out what life is all about and many of us Alhamdulillah again have been made intelligent enough to believe in the unseen, to submit to the will of God and to dedicate our actions and life to the Almighty alone. We have gone through the phase of accepting Islam by choice and not just because we were born into it.

To all of those who aim to question our beliefs, first of all ask yourself what is your true purpose of this question. Are you a truth seeker hoping for guidance? Are you truly trying to find answers to things that trouble you or are you finding a vulnerable person that you can attack and make your ego look greater? Those of you who post nasty comments at the bottom of youtube videos and have an intention of just causing an uproar, driving the conversation in any direction you please, read no further. This post is not for you. Let us pray that you find guidance in some place where there will be no public pressure and ego in the way of your learning.

For everyone else who is a true seeker of the truth, congratulations... not everyone has the intellectual capabilities of going through what you are, right now.

Firstly we choose to submit our will to our creator – the one God: That means we have the strongest belief that what the almighty ordains for us to do or not do is always for the best. So we dont need some rational explanation as to why we save ourselves only for our husbands or why we are not permitted to eat certain kinds of foods. Three words - 'Allah knows best' - sets us at peace. While you are a slave to money or your boss at work, we are slaves only to Allah

Second: God did not just create us. He revealed a book by which we should live – The Quran. You dont just manufacture a product and put it out in the market without a user manual, do you? The Quran is the book by which we live – our user manual to life! The prophet is our role model, the human example that we follow. Everything he did, said or silently approved of makes the Sunnah or Hadith.

Hopefully by now you get not only foundation of what we chose to believe and why but also how it is so easy for us to do that.

Now for the simple logic..

If I may put it as such, there is a law – the bottom line by which we live:

“Everything that is not explicitly stated as haram (forbidden) in our day to day life becomes halal (permissible)”

“Everything that is not explicitly stated as halal when it comes to our religious rituals is haram”

For example we can not change anything with regards to prayer, zakah, fasting and haj. I cannot pray six times a day instead of five. However when it comes to other matters we can take from our culture that which does not get in the way of our religious teachings. For example: weddings. 

So its as simple as that. No worries. No late nights thinking what must be and how large the universe is; rather we are busy in the worship of our God because that really is the reason we are here.

In the belief in God comes peace. In leaving everything to his Wisdom alone, comes serenity.

http://adhanthecall.blogspot.com/2010/02/you-and-i.html

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E-IQZItyS4c

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s-QQZ5Oqo5k&feature=related

Remembering the days of Allah - Hamza Yusuf

http://www.halaltube.com/hamza-yusuf-remembering-the-days-of-allah?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+HalalTube+%28Halal+Tube%29&utm_content=FaceBook

Every child's wish!

'Mommy and daddy "you" are the best gift you can give me!'

Intimacy in Islam

http://www.likeagarment.com/

Sura Ar Rahman

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4PBRnTA43FE

http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=341719930990&oid=234200368907&comments&ref=mf

Working with Muslims

Nice Watch!

Abu Hurayrah (ra) relates that ALLAH's Messenger (saw) said: "Indeed, before ALLAH created the creation, He decreed for Himself, 'Indeed My Mercy prevails over My Wrath (Anger).” [Sahih Bukhari and Sahih Muslim]

Relationships need work!

"A good marriage is when two people get together to make each other happy" Yasir Fazaga

A good listen http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DSEsUZIT6d8&feature=autoplay&list=PL5ACA648378CFFA0F&index=4&playnext=2

by Nouman Ali Khan

One beautiful talk by Yasir Birjas!

Listen to all seven parts!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EnKlnScCc1Y&feature=PlayList&p=EFC26E04DF6B76CA&playnext_from=PL&playnext=1&index=3
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v4pQUmnF5l8&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GSENJSuzwjI&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sOEvdaz_QvQ&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2qkZx6x-7Ew&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JPNoNvnuOGs&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ETHcEFpbcvU&feature=related

Special times for acceptance of Dua

1. Prayer in between Addhan & Ikaamah.
2. After the fard salah
3. After sajdah in salah.
4. While drinking zamzam water
5. In a gathering where dhikr is made or Quran is taught
6. During the last hours of the night, (Tahajjud)
7. At the time of sehri (Pre-dawn meal taken for fasting.)
8. At the time of breaking our fast
9. Every Friday & Saturday between Asar & Magrib.
10. During rainfall
11. When the rooster calls
12. While saying Ameen after the Sura Fatiha during Salaat.
13. On the night of Qadr during Ramadan.
14. On the first ten days during the month of Zilhajj.

( Taken from a book named Supplication. )

for the ladies

Did you know that it is medical proven fact that nursing your new born can be a natural birth control mechanism for you for two years? This does not mean that you have a zero chance of getting pregnant but rather that your chances of getting pregant are greatly reduced.

http://mumlovesme.com/

From the sisters magazine!

Do read here: http://blogs.muxlim.com/SistersMagazine/final-part-barren-but-blessed/

Islam and terrorism

Here is an article I wrote a long time ago: http://aashika.blogspot.com/2005/04/islam-and-terrorism.html

A Poem on the Prophet - May peace be upon him!

I wrote this in a rush. The message is more important than the words.

read here

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LbSOvS8MFuQ&feature=related

You and I

You are miserable when you think of the meaning of life

I am crystal clear as to why I'm here

You dance the night away in clubs

I sleep in comfort with serene dreams

You smoke to hide away your misery

I pray to get things straight

You in the name of fun do as you wish

In the hope to heal the world I do what's right

You drink crushing your soul and killing your friends

I don't touch anything with alcohol because God say's don't and He knows best

You think you are smart enough to write your own fate

I don't let my instincts decide what's right for me because I'm not stupid

You use drugs as an escape from reality

I live in belief that brings peace to the mind

You are nothing but a lost dark soul that needs some light

I am just a friend trying to reach out to help

Valentines Day- The Islamic Perspective

Praise be to Allaah.

Firstly: This festival became connected with the sa in t known as Valent in e who was sentenced to death on 14 February 270 CE. The kuffaar still celebrate this festival, dur in g which immorality and evil are practised widely.

Secondly: It is not permissible for a Muslim to celebrate any of the festivals of the kuffaar, because festivals come under the head in g of shar’i issues which are to be based on the sound texts. Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: Festivals are part of sharee’ah, clear way and rituals of which Allaah says ( in terpretation of the mean in g):

“To each among you, We have prescribed a law and a clear way” [al-Maa’idah 5:48]

“For every nation We have orda in ed religious ceremonies which they must follow” [al-Hajj 22:67]

Jo in in g in fully with the festival is jo in in g in with kufr, and jo in in g in with some of its m in or issues is jo in in g in with some of the branches of kufr. Indeed, festivals are one of the most unique features that dist in guish various religions and among their most prom in ent symbols, so jo in in g in with them is jo in in g in with the most characteristic and prom in ent symbols of kufr. No doubt jo in in g in with this may lead to complete kufr.

He also said (may Allaah have mercy on him): It is not permissible for the Muslims to imitate them in anyth in g that is uniquely a part of their festivals, whether it be food, cloth in g, bath in g, light in g fires, refra in in g from a regular habit, do in g acts of worship or anyth in g else. It is not permissible to give a feast or to give gifts, or to sell anyth in g that will help them to do that for that purpose, or to allow children and others to play games that are part of the festivals, or to wear one’s adornments.

To conclude: the Mulsims should not do any of their rituals at the time of their festivals; rather the day of their festival should be like any other day for the Muslims. The Muslims should not do anyth in g specific in imitation of them. End quote from Majmoo al-Fataawa (25/329).

Al-Haafiz al-Dhahabi (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: If the Christians have a festival, and the Jews have a festival, it is only for them, so no Muslim should jo in them in that,just as no Muslim should jo in them in their religion or their direction of prayer. End quote from Tashabbuh al-Khasees bi Ahl al-Khamees, published in Majallat al-Hikmah (4/193)

Festivals are among the characteristics by which nations are dist in guished, and it is not permissible to celebrate the festivals of the ignorant and the mushrikeen (polytheists).

The scholars have issued fatwas stat in g that it is haraam to celebrate Valent in e’s Day.

1 –Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) was asked:

Celebrat in g Valent in e’s Day is not permissible for a number of reasons.

It is an in novated festival for which there is no basis in Islam, it promotes love and in fatuation, it calls for hearts to be preoccupied with foolish matters that are contrary to the way of the righteous salaf (may Allaah be pleased with them).

It is not permissible on this day to do any of the th in gs that are characteristic of this festival, whether that has to do with food, dr in ks, cloth in g, exchang in g gifts or anyth in g else.

The Muslim should be proud of his religion and should not be a weak character. I ask Allaah to protect the Muslims from all temptations, visible and in visible, and to protect us and guide us. End quote from Majmoo’ Fataawa al-Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (16/199)

2 – The Stand in g Committee was asked about celebration of Valent in e’s Day on the fourteenth of February every year.

The clear evidence of the Qur’aan and Sunnah – and the consensus of the early generations of this ummah – in dicates that there are only two festivals in Islam: Eid al-Fitr and Eid al-Adha. Any other festivals that have to do with a person, a group, an event or anyth in g else are in novated festivals, which it is not permissible for Muslims to observe, approve of or express joy on those occasions, or to help others to celebrate them in any way, because that is transgress in g the sacred limits of Allaah, and whoever transgresses the sacred limits of Allaah has wronged himself. If the fabricated festival is also a festival of the kuffaar, then the s in is even greater, because this is imitat in g them and it is a k in d of tak in g them as close friends, and Allaah has forbidden the believers to imitate them and take them as close friends in His Holy Book. And it is proven that the Prophet (peace and bless in gs of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever imitates a people is one of them.” Valent in e’s Day comes under this head in g because it is an idolatrous Christian festival, so it is not permissible for a Muslim who believes in Allaah and the Last Day to observe it or approve of it or congratulate people on it. Rather he has to ignore it and avoid it, in obedience to Allaah and His Messenger, and so as to keep away from the causes that in cur the wrath and punishment of Allaah. It is also haraam for the Muslim to help people to celebrate this or any other haraam festival by supply in g any k in d of food or dr in k, or buy in g or sell in g or manufactur in g or giv in g or advertis in g etc., because all of that is cooperat in g in s in and transgression and is disobedience towards Allaah and His Messenger (peace and bless in gs of Allaah be upon him). Allaah says ( in terpretation of the mean in g):

“Help you one another in Al‑Birr and At‑Taqwa (virtue, righteousness and piety); but do not help one another in s in and transgression. And fear Allaah. Verily, Allaah is Severe in punishment” [al-Maa’idah 5:2]

The Muslim must adhere to the Book of Allaah and the Sunnah in all his affairs, especially at times of fitnah when evil is widespread. He should be smart and avoid fall in g in to the misguidance of those who have earned Allaah’s anger and who have gone astray, and the evildoers who have no fear of Allaah and who do not have any pride in be in g Muslims. The Muslim must turn to Allaah and seek His guidance and rema in steadfast in follow in g it, for there is no Guide except Allaah and no one can make a person steadfast but Him. And Allaah is the source of strength. May Allaah send bless in gs and peace upon our Prophet Muhammad and his family and companions. End quote.

And Allaah knows best.

Source: www.islamqa.com

Also see:

http://www.readingislam.com/servlet/Satellite?c=Article_C&cid=1265700459149&pagename=Zone-English-Discover_Islam/DIELayout

Influencing the Behaviour of Muslim Youth and Their Parents by Shahid Athar , M. D.

The purpose of this article is to evaluate the factors influencing the behavior of children and how to modify them so that they grow as model citizens practicing Islam in their community, become a source of joy and comfort to their parents, and maintain family harmony.

The behavior of growing children is influenced by many factors that include their parents and other close relatives, teachers, peers at school, community and the media. Lack of discipline and civilized behavior at school is a major problem in the U.S., the fallout of which is also seen at home! With broken families and the absence of a father at home, this becomes a major problem for single mothers raising a teenager.
Muslim children, although distinct in their value system, still are exposed to and affected by what they see and learn. In Islamic teachings, great emphasis has been placed on moral conduct and behavior.
The Quran says, "Lo, the noblest of you, in the sight of God, is (the one) best in conduct. Lo, God is knower, Aware" (49:13).
"By the soul, and the proportion and order given to it, and its enlightenment as to its wrong, and its right. Truly he succeeds that purifies it (the soul), and he fails that corrupts it" (91:7-10).
Prophet Muhammad (PBUH), has said, "I have been sent to perfect your conduct" (Bukhari and Muslim). "A fathers' teaching his child good manners is better than giving a bushel of grain (in charity)" (Bukhari).
Children are very susceptible to any and every influence. It has been said, "They are like molten cement. Anything that falls on them makes a lasting impression." Their minds are like virgin soil, ready to accept any seed. As they grow, their organs of reception start working and accept new ideas and influences. It is up to us to screen the experiential factors that influence a child's development so that they can learn to accept the right ideas and behaviors and reject the wrong influences.
The parents (and close relatives living with them like uncles and grandparents) have only 25% influence in a 6-16 year old child. 50% is by peers at school or in the community. 25% is from the teachers and other sources of education outside home i.e. media, mainly TV (and magazines for older youths). The influence of parents is high during early age (0-8 years, up to 80%), but as the child discovers new friends and ideas, he or she grows independent from the influence of parents.

The American scene
The American scene of the behavior of children and adults is changing. While it is difficult to qualify the behavior at home, the same at school has been published. What is happening in our homes is reflective of what's happening outside homes and vice versa According to a study conducted by Fullerton California Police Department of Education,l the leading school discipline problem in 1940 was talking, chewing gum, making noise, running in the hallways, getting out of place in line, wearing improper clothing and not putting paper in the wastebasket, etc. In 1980 the major problems were drug abuse, alcohol abuse, pregnancy, suicide, rape, robbery, assault, burglary, arson, and bombing. The Indianapolis public schools conducted a behavior discipline survey.2 It reported the following activities in the hall: Grabbing 69%, pushing 84%, hitting 82%, kicking 48%, slapping 57%, pinching 66%, fighting 78% and tripping 62%. There is also a high percentage of physical violence by teacher against student (22%) and by student against teacher (42%). We leave our children at school in such an environment for 30-40 hours per week and then expect them to develop into angels.
While the parents can do little to affect other influences, some suggestions can be made in this regard.
PEERS
Keep children in the company of good Muslim children after school and during weekends to dilute the unavoidable influence of undesirable elements at school.
SCHOOL
Choose a school in a good location (neighborhood) irrespective of it being private or public. Get to know the teachers personally and interact with them. Only the neglected children create wrong impression at school and expose themselves to various abuses. Supervise their homework.
MEDIA
Watch TV with your children, and select good educational and entertainment programs. Comment on the negative aspects of the program. Cut down the TV hour to less than 1 1/2 hours on weekdays and 2 1/2 hours on weekends. Do not buy rock music tapes (out of love for your child) nor allow him/her to listen to any hard rock. Encourage outdoor activity in preference to indoor (e.g. TV/music). Encourage them to read newspapers, good magazines (National Geographic) and Islamic periodicals.

Role of parents in influencing the behaviour of their children
As I have said many times, "Children will become what we want them to be if we are what we want them to be." Children cannot be expected to practice Islam by sending them to Sunday school if we are not doing that ourselves in our day to day life. If we want them to get up early in the morning to perform the prescribed prayer, we have to do it ourselves and ask them to join us. If we want them to read the Quran, we should read with them and so on.
LOVE
Growing children may not take an order, but will do things out of love and respect for their parents. So love and respect on a mutual basis is our best weapon against all the negative influences on them. Parental love should be unconditional and on biological grounds rather than on their achievements at school or in sports. Love should not be confused with unlimited permissiveness or with closed eyes towards a child's faults. Criticizing certain faults of the child should not diminish the love by the parents.
INFORMATION
Children are not bom knowing everything right or wrong in social norms. They need clear guidelines about good and bad behavior, Islamic and un-Islamic way of life. The greatest effect is of the parent's attitude and example rather than the words in a book. If children see their parents not practicing what they themselves are told to practice they become rebellious and non-believers (in the value system). A typical example is of alcoholism in the American scene. Children are told it is bad for you until you are 18, while it is not bad for the parents. Therefore children seeing this as hypocrisy, rebel and get alcohol, not from a liquor store, but from their own home or from a friend at parties. Therefore, parents should set the same standards for themselves as they set for their children, and share with them information of all kinds whether related to the outside world or inside the family. It is not the knowledge which hurts, but the lack of it or misuse of it which causes problems.
DECISIONS
Parents should help children make appropriate decisions and be responsible for their decisions. Younger children can only make decisions about the present (i.e. what clothes to wear that day), but grown-ups can make decisions that may affect their future, under parental guidance (i.e. selection of career, school and hobbies). Children left to grow on their own, will regret a lack of direction they had in their childhood. Children should be taught how to be responsible by being given the chance to share household work, keep their desk and room clean and how to handle their "own" money. Let them spend all their money and suffer from the lack of it. A sense of deprivation once in awhile is good for them as long as the reason for deprivation is explained well.

Problems with parents

If the parents are authoritarian, the child becomes fearful of making mistakes, starts lying for the fear of being punished and feels insecure. Unfortunately, abused children become abusers when they grow up. The parent should remember that the only absolute authority in the house is the Will of God, and everyone has to submit to His Will, in order to expect submission from a younger person.

If the parents are emotionally disturbed and depressed themselves they will not have time for the children, leading them to withdraw, become depressed or develop anti-social activities.

If the parents are perfectionists and expect the child to be perfect all the time, the child will have two options. Either he or she will live up to the expectations, or will develop opposite tendencies, i.e. a teenager keeping his or her room messy to get back at the "ever cleaning" mom. Parents should not make "all" the choices for their children, but help in their individual growth.

The over-protective, anxious parent cannot raise a confident child ready to deal with the real life. This child will feel danger everywhere. While the child has to be supervised, he or she does not need the physical presence of the parent at all time. They should raise a strong child, strong enough to carry on their work if they meet a sudden death themselves.

The parent who cannot say no to a child, spoils him or her by providing him or her with every wish every time. This child will demand whatever he or she wants immediately and put on a manipulative show to get it. One parent complained how their five year old will stop breathing until she got what she wanted. The parents have to learn to control their love and discipline themselves in order to discipline their children The child's necessary desires should be met according to the means of the family, but a time may come when a firm no should be put into practice.

Parents who take sides in sibling rivalry encourage jealousy and hate. They should not prefer boys over girls or the reverse and fair complexion over dark ones, bright ones over less bright, but try to be fair to all of them and neutral in their fights.

How parents can communicate with their children
Neither party can influence the other unless they communicate. This is a serious problem in American families. One father told me that at best all his teenage daughter would say to him would be "Hi" one or two times a day. This can be substituted by a "peace be upon you," (as-salam alaykum) in a Muslim family in which parents and teenagers are not getting along well. One should avoid getting into this stage of strained communication.

Find a time and place to talk to your children. Children are sometimes in a "bad mood" upon returning from school, loaded with home work, as are parents in the afternoon with a busy day at work. The best time to have a chat is during breakfast and evening dinner together. Better than this is allotting ten minutes after either the evening or night prescribed prayer or even better, after the dawn prescribed prayer, if time pemits. During this session, the parent can inform the children of all the good things they did that day and ask the children the same and share their problems.

When you do argue, do it patiently, one person speaking at a time. Be specific and separate emotions from facts. Speak in a low voice. Screaming decreases the intake of the message. Finding fault may make you look like a winner, but remember, just as we want God to forget and forgive our faults, we should do the same for others.

Practice active listening to each other's view, even if you don't agree. For religious issues consult the Quran or the Traditions together, rather than quoting from your memory.

Refrain from sarcasm, name calling, humiliation, pointing your finger, etc. Read God's injunction about these again and again in Surah Al-Hujurat (49th Surah).

Encourage each other even in areas of shortcomings, rather than making fun or making a negative remark. If your child brings a B report, then instead of, "I doubt you will ever improve or pass your exam," say "A 'B' is better than a 'C', and I am sure you are talented enough to do better. Perhaps I can help you in the areas that you have difficulties at school?"

Influencing the behaviour through daily household chores
The purpose of giving them some chores, is to keep them busy as well as teach them some responsibility. Initially it may be boring, but it will eventually become routine. The assignment should be according to age (and not the sex of the child) and should include setting the table to begin with, then washing dishes, laundry, taking out the garbage or just helping in the garden. However, children should not be forced into doing things, otherwise they will rebel. By the same token, they should not be penalized for mistakes. The best payment for a job is a smile, hug, thank you or praising the child to others, rather than money. While it may be all right to give an allowance, it should not be tied to the job. Otherwise the child will want money for everything. An eleven year old told his mom, "You need to know only three things about kids. Don't hit them too much, don't yell at them too much, and don't do too much for them."

How about infants and pre-schoolers?
While studies mainly refer to children ages 6-16 years, the small ones should not be neglected. In fact, in the first year of life, it is the behavior of the parent (especially the mother) which is so crucial and has nearly 90 percent influence. Then, as the child grows, identification with the parent of the same sex may make the influence of that parent more important. The boys watch their father more closely doing mechanical work and girls observe moms carefully doing household work. Sometimes it may be reversed. It is at this time that parents can inject love and respect into children by their example of mutual love and respect for each other and for the children. It is also at this age that doing things together including playing, watching TV, reading, etc. will help establish the foundations (trust, self-confidence, ability, etc.) of open communication. In terms of practice of religion, it comes from observing their parents and doing the practices together. If nice manners are programmed into them before they are introduced to the general population, it is doubtful they would get the infection of misbehavior.

Bill of rights for Muslim children

Muslim children have the right to learn and practice Islam even if one of their parents is a non-Muslim, or non-practicing Muslim.

They have a right to be treated as a person, in an environment that is conducive to their growth and maturity and to become useful citizens.

They have a right to receive love, care, discipline, and protection from their parents.

They have a right to receive education, and financial protection for the future.

Bill of rights for Muslim parents

Parents have a right to receive love, respect and affection from their children as mentioned in the Quran.

Parents have a right to educate and discipline their children as men- tioned in the Quran and shown by the example of Prophet Muhammad [PBUH]

Parents have a right to know more about their children, and moni- tor other influences affecting them.

Parents have a right to say no to unusual financial and other demands of children.

Finally, I end this article with a verse from the Quran.
"Your Lord has commanded that you worship none but Him, and that you be kind to your parents. If either or both of them reach old age with you, do not say to them any word of contempt, nor repulse them, but address them in terms of honor, and out of kindness lower to them your wings of submission, and say, 'My Lord, have mercy on them as they cared for me in my childhood"' (17:23-24).

source:http://www.themodernreligion.com/family/family_muslimamericans.htm

The legacy of prophet Ibrahim

Bringing up children in the west and even in the east for that matter is a great challenge. Brother Nouman Ali Khan illustrates with examples the various solutions to problems that many parents have.

please watch

Islam - An American Faith

Watch this!

Decoding the Dress Myth

A great article here

The first ten days of Dhul Haj are here

You are probably familiar with the last ten nights of Ramadan, and how virtuous good deeds are in those nights? Yes.

Well, let me introduce you to 10 days that are MORE virtuous, yet many people are not aware of it. It's the first ten days of the Islamic calendar month of Dhul-Hijjah (which starts on Nov.18)

According to the Prophet, sal Allahu 'alayhi wa sallam, who said, "There is no day more honorable in Allah's sight and no acts more beloved therein to Allah than those in these ten days (of Dhul-Hijjah)"

deeds.In these first 10 days of the Month of DhulHijjah we find:
...the 9th day is the day of Arafah,
...and the 10th day is Eid.

Even if you are not traveling for Hajj, you can still put in extra effort to do more good Deeds


What sort of extra good deeds can you do?
*****************************************
1. Fasting these 10 days
2. Giving more charity during these 10 days
3. Say the "Eid" Takbeers loudly wherever you go. (Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar. Laa ilaaha illa Allah. Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar. Walillaahil hamd.)
4. Try to pray more prayers in the Masjid
5. Increase ties of kinship (visit family, say kind words to them, etc.)
6. Perform more voluntary prayers at home
7. Read more Quran, contemplating the meanings
8. Do more Dhikr
9. Ask for forgiveness more frequently

And Your Dua For Us Also...

With best wishes to see you succeed at the highest level!

Capturing "The Divine Speech"

Assalaamu Alaikum,

The last two days have been a wonderful experience immersing into the beauty and intricacies of the Holy Qur'an. This is a wonderful seminar conducted by an energetic, enthusiastic, and learned teacher called Nouman Ali Khan. Unlike other Arabic programs, this program has given significant importance to the methodology of presentation. The presenter used examples, metaphors, and humorous anecdotes, to ensure that the audience maintained their attention throughout, alhamdulillah!

The first day was on the analysis of the first Sura, Sura Fathiha. We started at 7.10PM, and ended a bit after 10PM. We spent about one hour, just talking about 'alhamdulillah'. Maasha Allah, little did we realize the meaning of Surathul Fathiha was so deep. Hereafter our recitation of Sura Fathiha will never be the same.

What we learnt yesterday (second day) is that there are three types of Arabic :

1. Spoken

2. Standard / Formal

3. Classical / Ancient

And if you are going to analyse the Qur'an, we need to use Classical Arabic. If you use the first two, then you will surely find issues in analyzing and understanding the true message that Allah has sent down upon us through our Prophet, may peace and blessings of Allah be upon him. Another important item we learnt is that some of the translations do not capture the nuances in the arabic. One example is the arabic terms (note the plural) for mercy. There are two terms, one of a minor degree, and the other of a major degree. If this was translated into english, the translator would only use the word 'mercy' for either term, thereby losing the nuance of the two different arabic terms.

We also learnt on the second day that the analysis of the Quran can be done in two levels :

1. Micro : Analyse intricacies within ayahs.

2. Macro : Analyse the Qur'an at a higher level, and see the organization of the Qur'an.

We continued the micro level with the start of the analysis of Classical Arabic in the Qur'an. Then we discussed about some of the features of classical Arabic. Will share our notes in detail via a conference, insha allah.

Today is going to be the third day, where we will be doing a macro level analysis of the Qur'an, insha allah.

Here are some links for you to review :

http://www.bayyinah.com/dream/ : Nouman Ali Khan is doing a detailed study of each surah, ayah by ayah, and once he has completed, he provides the thafsir's online for public consumption.

What Aashika and I were discussing was the amazing way of Allah to guide us. Here we are, in the United States of America, and we are learning about the nuances of Classical Arabic in the Qur'an. Alhamdulillah! We would have never been able to be part of such a seminar if we were in SL, or for that matter, even if we were in Wisconsin.

One note, is as to whether we will be able to host this speaker in SL. It would be like a vacation for him, and we can use him for about 2 weekends, insha allah! He is busy through next year as well, but if we start organizing early, we may be able to finalize.

http://www.facebook.com/bayyinahinstitute?ref=ts

Nouman Ali Khan

From Aethism to Islam. Watch his story

thZZZZZZ anyone?

An edutaining free and quick lesson on how to pronounce the arabic alphabets here

Dua - all you need to know!

The core of worship is in Dua - Supplication!

Etiquette of Dua (or How To Supplicate to Allah)

The best times to make dua

Always ask Allah to give you what is best for you! Ask for guidance and the heighest place in paradise with the Prophets. Refer to the above links for more on how you can make Dua effectively.

A brother and his family in need!

Please visit this website: http://www.smfahmy.com/introduction2.html

Ask the Scholar

Ask Now!

You said it!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3f9RIBukMXs

100 Most Influential People in the world

Who is at the top of that list?

Check this out!

The Concept of God

There are numerous explanations about what God really is and how he can exist if such evil is occurring around the world. The atheist believe that everything is merely chance while religions say otherwise. Brilliant minds have not been able to come up with a satisfactory explanation to life that is acceptable by all. What major world religions say is that there is one GOD.

CONCEPT OF GOD IN HINDUISM

Concept of God in Budhism

CONCEPT OF GOD IN JUDAISM

more>http://www.readingislam.com/servlet/Satellite?pagename=IslamOnline-English-AAbout_Islam/AskAboutIslamE/AskAboutIslamE&cid=1148292923603

...to be continued

The Race

So there is this race

The participators are a motorcyclist, a pedestrian, a sports car and a land cruiser.

The common layman sees this race as unfair competition. The person with the best vehicle laughs at the others but little does he know that the track has been set for a pedestrian and a cyclist.

Although we don't see the good in children born without limbs or in the destruction we see around us we put our faith in Allah and say that He knows best. May be these tests will make an easier and faster path to heaven for them. May be it will give parents who have disabled children an extra opportunity to earn reward. Allah KNOWS best!

The Quran says that there is medicine in honey!

Sura Nahl: 69

Then to eat of all the produce (of the earth), and find with skill the spacious paths of its Lord: there issues from within their bodies a drink of varying colours, wherein is healing for men: verily in this is a Sign for those who give thought.

The Fiqh of Salah during travel

Read point 3 and 4 on combining the prayer

Also: http://www.islamawareness.net/Salah/Qasr/shortening.html

"Why I turned to Islam?"

The stories of some brothers and sisters

Towards the end of time the Muslims will be large in number but low in quality. Towards the end of time the entire world will turn to Islam and then the entire world will turn away from Islam. That is when the world will end. The end of the world would not come as long as there is a single soul that is sincerely worshiping Allah.

http://www.islamicbulletin.com/services/new_muslims.htm

A few benefits of Salah - Prayer!

1. It enriches the soul and fulfills its yearning to connect with its Lord. This gives the soul peace and contentment.

2. It purifies the heart from the effects of indolence and sin by providing a continuous opportunity for communication with Allah and for repentance.

Allah's Messenger (peace be upon him) indicated this when he said to his Companions: “Consider if one of you had a river by his door in which he bathed five times a day. Would any filth remain on him?” They responded in the negative. He said: “Likewise, Allah wipes away sins with the five daily prayers.” [Sahîh al-Bukhârî (528) and Sahîh Muslim (667)]

This stresses the meaning of Allah’s words: “Establish prayer, for verily prayer restrains from shameful and unjust deeds. And the remembrance of Allah is the greatest thing.” [Sûrah al-`Ankabût: 45]

3. It emphasizes the proximity between religion and daily life. Life, from an Islamic standpoint, is to be directed to Allah. Life is an opportunity for worship and the remembrance of Allah. Praying repeatedly throughout the day, interrupting the daily activities, brings about the realization of this concept. The believer, through prayer, acquires a spiritual awareness that he takes with him throughout all of life’s endeavors.

4. Prayer teaches punctuality. Allah Has determined specific times for the daily prayers which may not be violated. Allah says: “For such prayers are enjoined on believers at stated times.” [Sûrah al-Nisâ’: 103]

This shows us the importance of time.

5. Prayer teaches the Muslim the virtues of constancy and perseverance while opening the door to greater effort. Allah’s Messenger (peace be upon him) said: “The beloved deeds to Allah are the ones performed most regularly, even if they are small.” [Sahîh al-Bukhârî (6464) and Sahîh Muslim (783)]

6. Prayer cultivates brotherhood, equality, and humility between the Muslims. Everyone stands together before Allah in their ranks with no distinction between them.

There are also many more physical and mental benefits which I leave to the interest and research of the reader

Read more

To God We Belong and To Him We Return

The Islamic Bulletin
P.O. Box 410186, San Francisco, CA 94141-0186
info@islamicbulletin.org

Another question that is difficult for me to understand

I asked some christian schollars these questions but am not happy with the answer I got so again I ask:

Why is the word trinity not in the bible?
Why is the word bible not in the bible?
Why is the word Christianity not in the bible?

These are the fundamentals and yet they have not been included. Why?

Islam cracks the code or so says this website: http://islamcode.com/

The prohibition of Alcohol in the Quran

Please read here for complete references:

http://quran.com/search/alcohol

Purnajam

Growing up with lots of budhist and hindu children around I found the concept of rebirth very interesting. Basically the idea of having another chance at life seems tempting... Even people who want to go to heaven dont want to die to get there. But here's the thing - death is what makes life valuable and here is my question... if a child is born blind you say he sinned in his previous life but he is not aware of what sin he committed. It is almost like he is being punished without a reason.

Please read : this article